Attempt 12 from Dear Mr. Ninja

Attempt 12: Strangeness

 We’re sitting in the lecture hall together. Actually, I’m on his lap with my body facing him completely. I’m leaning in to give him a peck. His hands are massaging my back. Unexpectedly, I think he has unhooked my bra. 

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Attempt 11 from Dear Mr. Ninja

I do a lot of stupid things and a lot of random stuff happens in my life. This time, I managed to forget to pack my cell phone, yet my cell phone charger was in my luggage. This was beyond stupid. I had to call using a pay phone to tell my mom to express mail it to me. She was laughing as hard. Luckily, she didn’t really mad at me. She just thought I was foolishly funny. What was even worse was that when I was sitting around waiting for the plane, all these grandmothers and grandfathers were using Kindles, cell phones and laptops. I felt so out of place, so archaic, so behind. I felt like fate was just laughing at me. I was stuck with my textbooks and a novel that I have to read for my English class.

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Attempt 10 from Dear Mr. Ninja

I find that whenever you expect the unexpected, you end up getting the expected outcome, but whenever you start not expecting anything, you really do get a big punch in the face. Really, you get your worst nightmare ever. Actually, I have a few. It's just this one was just so . . . uncalled for in too many ways.

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Attempt 9 from Dear Mr. Ninja

Attempt 9: Craziness

 

Saeryun drives me insane in a really, really bad way. You see, there are several different ways of driving someone crazy. Now, Mr. Ninja makes me swoon in a crazy but happy way. Being with him, however short that may be, brightens my day so much that I end up doing laundry when I get home. Okay, I do laundry when I’m mad too, so I guess you can say that I do laundry whenever I’m experiencing some great emotion known to humans. Either way, Saeryun just means trouble. 

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Attempt 8 from Dear Mr. Ninja

Attempt 8: Disappointment  

Credits and thanks goes to dodici!

After consulting with Yura as to what to text, I settle on copying her sentences word per word.

Hi! This is Haera. How are you doing? Thought I’d let you know my number too. :)

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Attempt 7 from Dear Mr. Ninja

Attempt 7: Step By Step

Honestly, I think life just likes to startle you. I think it just likes to scream, “Boo!” That’ll be right in your face, and indeed, I got one of the shockers of my life. I get distracted by eating Christie Arrowroot cookies, which were supposed to be food for after the famine. The other club members didn’t want them, so charitable food became my snacking source. That’s beside the point. The point is that I’m almost late to class because I get too distracted munching on cookies. That, though, works to my advantage. Why? Well, first, trust me on this one when I say that I am not stalking him. Kai just appears at the same time and place. Okay, so he uses the other entrance, which I have no idea how that works, but he just pops out in front of me!

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Attempt 6 from Dear Mr. Ninja

Attempt 6: Lovestruck

I do what most desperate people do: I end up phoning my best friend for help. But that comes later. I first do laundry. I am so angry that once I get home, I change into casual clothing, take my basket only half-filled with dirty clothes and take to the elevator to the first floor. You’d think that I’m in sweats, but no, I’m in skinny jeans paired with black, suede ankle boots. Fu.ck you, I think. I can be sexy and do household chores. I’m going to meet some guy on my way, and he’s going to be better than you. He’s going to fall head over heels with me, and . . . I open the door to find a very tall, overtly obese guy. I know you’re not supposed to judge people by their appearance, but no, I don’t feel any sparks at all. He’s pretty sweaty too and he’s in a yellow wife beater. I think I can almost see his nipples; his breasts might be even bigger than mine. No thank you. 

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Attempt 5 from Dear Mr. Ninja

Attempt 5: Slow and Steady Wins the Race

I think it’s safe to say that Kai will never walk home with me even though we live in the same building. He didn’t even say good-bye to me. Instead, he disappears, and runs off to ask the professor a question at the front of the class. He even beat the front row people to question the professor. Seriously, that’s how fast he is. Stupid Mr. Ninja. Is he purposely avoiding me? Is that how it is? I mean, I’ve never seen him go ask the professor anything! Before, he’d just leave class as soon as possible. What is this? I don’t get it.

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Attempt 4 from Dear Mr. Ninja

Attempt 4: Levelling up to Classmates

I got this down buddy. I so got this. I’m going to make this a bad romance that you’ll never forget.

Exactly my type of chant. You know, when you’re lacking self-confidence, you really have to boost up your morale. So, I end up telling myself motivational words. They’re kind of like TED talks, except way more . . . concise. Let’s just put it that way.

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Attempt 3 from Dear Mr. Ninja

Attempt 3: The Chase

And you’d think he’d walk a bit slower just because we’re heading in the same direction, but no, the man is a lone wolf. He is a ninja, I tell myself over and over again. Okay, it doesn’t really help that I tried to play it cool and packed up faster than him. To be honest, he was packing up way slower than before. Was he even waiting for me? I don’t know, but in the end, he surpasses me, leaving me either to look pathetic and sprint after him or to look very normal but secretly upset that we’re not walking together.

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Attempt 2 from Dear Mr. Ninja

Attempt 2: First Impressions

Please just tell me that you’re shy, and that you’re not ignoring me, okay? Okay.

“Excuse me, I was wondering if I could survey you for my business project?” I ask.

“Oh, sure,” he says.

 

“So, would you read advertisements on a coffee cup?”

“No.”

“And why not?”

“Because I just don’t really bother.”

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Attempt 1 from Dear Mr. Ninja

Attempt #1: You

You’re a little bit funny. You’re kind of cute. I don’t know who you are, but let me tell you, you’ve got my heart.

In a room filled with fatigued, keen, bored or focused students, you’re bound to find someone that you can’t take your eyes off of, and by instinct, I find him. My eyes have zoned in on him and I can’t help but keep watch on him for months. It’s not that I don’t concentrate in class. It’s not that I’m a loner. Okay, I am partly one, but that’s not the whole story here. It’s just that my eyes wander in his direction. Every time I have my geography class, I’m scanning the room for his presence.

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