Attempt 6: Lovestruck

I do what most desperate people do: I end up phoning my best friend for help. But that comes later. I first do laundry. I am so angry that once I get home, I change into casual clothing, take my basket only half-filled with dirty clothes and take to the elevator to the first floor. You’d think that I’m in sweats, but no, I’m in skinny jeans paired with black, suede ankle boots. Fu.ck you, I think. I can be sexy and do household chores. I’m going to meet some guy on my way, and he’s going to be better than you. He’s going to fall head over heels with me, and . . . I open the door to find a very tall, overtly obese guy. I know you’re not supposed to judge people by their appearance, but no, I don’t feel any sparks at all. He’s pretty sweaty too and he’s in a yellow wife beater. I think I can almost see his nipples; his breasts might be even bigger than mine. No thank you. 


So much for trying to find a replacement, I sigh. When I finally get back to my room, I dial for home. Yura is horrible at picking up the phone. She really sucks at this, and as expected, she doesn’t answer. You know, when I used to live at home, I’d always answer the calls. Yura would just sit there on her lazy ass and continue doing what she wanted to do. Later, she’d even have the nerve to ask, “Oh, who called?”

Being the nice sister I am, I forgive her. She’s just that way, andmen seem to like her as she is. She’s the popular girl at school, probably the queen bee. I seriously hope she doesn’t bully anyone. Everyone says she’s nice at first, but later on, they realize the truth. It’s not very pretty, but still, guys love her. Maybe, I should learn from her, but we’re opposites to the core. Everything she likes I pretty much dislike and vice versa. There’s really no common ground besides our blood. Opposites are supposed to work, right?

Luckily, she answers her text. Her phone is by her every day, and she tells me to call home again. I do as I’m told. “She’s weird,” Yura keeps repeating after hearing my story. “Seriously, I’m telling you, that girl is weird.”

“I don’t get her,” I mutter. “I really don’t get it. Why would a girl do that? She doesn’t even know me!”
 
“What does she even look like?”

“Tanned, greyish skin, weird teeth, tomboyish, and short hair,” I utter. “Oh, she’s Asian too.”

Yura let out an exasperated sigh, “Well, at least you know he’s into Asian girls.”

“I guess . . .”

“And maybe he likes that style. That style is pretty hot to some guys.”

“You’re not helping at all.” I roll my eyes even though she can’t even see me do that.

“Okay, well,” Yura tries to appease me, “at least you made an impression on him?”

“I guess so . . . any impression is good right?”

Yura secretly giggles. “It could be good or . . . he could think you’re creepy.”

“You serious?” I feel like planting my face on my table. “This is horrible! This is absolutely horrible! What am I going to do Yura? What am I going to—“

“Calm your tits, woman!” Yura interrupts me.

“Hey! Language!”

“Okay, okay,” she mutters. “I just think that you should be optimistic, and next time, don’t finish your donut. When you see him, say hi to him. Then, do what you have to do.”
“Do what I have to do?”

“Yeah, didn’t you say you were going to get his number?”

“R-r-right,” I stutter. Then, I’m suddenly reminded of that weird girl. What is her problem? Honestly. I can’t lose to that! I can’t! “You’re right! I’m going to fu.cking get his number, Yura! You just watch me!”

“Language, Haera, language.”

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s just hope everything works out next class.”

“Yeah.”
--- 

Nope. So much for wishing that things happen your way. He’s not even in class this time. Can you believe my luck? What are the gods doing to me? Why are they making this so hard?
During class, I keep texting Yura, updating her with the situation. 

Yura: I don’t mean to be harsh, but I think he has no interest in you.

Me: Thanks, but I know. 

Yura: Well, people say that even if a guy doesn’t like you at first if you can make him like you in the end, he’ll like you even more.

Me: I give up. Seriously.
 
Yura: I think you just have to be the one that chases after a guy.

Me: It’s not like I haven’t tried.

Yura: Try harder.

Me: Easy for you to say. Every time I try, it fails. Remember the last time you thought Kibum liked me? I thought he was okay so I hinted over text that he and I could try something?

Yura: Yeah, but that was an exception. And I think sooner or later you’ll date Kibum.

Me: You always say these things, like with Sunghoon.

Yura: Okay, Sunghoon was different. He was your good childhood friend.

Me: And you said the fortune teller told me that I’d have love in January! It’s already February!

Yura: She said this year.

Me: Well, school is going to end in several months! Okay?

Yura: Maybe, Kai was sick.

Me: He better have severe diarrhea or some horrible flu. He doesn’t miss class.

And it turns out that one of my executives, Ben, has severe stomach flu. He can’t make it to the event. I’m already in hot water since we can’t see to get at least ten people to come from our side. The other clubs are expecting ten more people. Heck, we have five executives in total and three can’t come. Another one, Wooyoung, has an exam and other excuses to add, but Michiko is in the same situation as him and she is going. Finally, there’s the lazy girl, Yuri. I’ve been meaning to fire her, especially how she has never helped out in any way. I take her job as the secretary. She’s supposed to be my assistant! 

Now, the more pressing question is: how to dismiss her without her hating me?

I’m super desperate. Trust me. I’m consulting friends that I’m not that close with from my home town, Seoul. I end up seeking Saeryun’s help. Believe it or not, I’m asking for his input. That’s how desperate I am. To my surprise, Saeryun is unbelievably helpful. He’s providing good advice, telling me to do this casually. He’s looking into the situation to understand what’s going on. I think, just maybe, that we can be friends. I have this notion: hey, he’s not that bad. Maybe, just maybe, I’ve been too focused on his flaws, but I don’t think I’d ever like him in any way more than a friend. There’s just no spark.

Maybe, maybe at the horrible event, I can meet someone new and move on! That’s what I think, yet when I’m there with Michiko, I realize that there are no guys that increase my heart rate at an exponential rate. There is one that is kind of cute, but he’s too energetic and happy that I think we wouldn’t match. He doesn’t seem like he’s interested in me either. There is this guy, Ryohei, that I think may like my style. He has purposely been standing beside me all this time and once even supported my waist with his hand. Sadly, he’s not my type. I don’t feel any connection and I don’t mean to be rude, but he’s too short for me. Yes, I’m one of those shallow girls that only like tall guys.  I apologize if I offend anyone.

Just when I’m about to yawn, I see Saeryun walk past me. A girl tells him, “Saeryun, you’re with group three.”

As Saeryun trails by me, our eyes meet, and I’m genuinely shocked. “Oh hey!” I greet with a smile. At last there’s a familiar face among this crowd.

“Oh hi!” He flashes a gentle grin.

“What a coincidence!”

“Yeah,” he utters.

There’s almost this pause, but I quickly say, “Oh right! Junho wanted me to tell you . . . oh wait, I can’t really remember. Shoot. Give me a minute. Oh right, that when you write your part of the report, make sure you reference the figures and appendices.”

He’s looking at me quizzically as if he doesn’t get what I’m saying. Surprisingly, he answers, “Oh, okay. So . . . how’s your part coming along?”

“Oh my part?” He nods, and I continue to explain, “Well, I’m just wanting on Miyoung to finish her diagrams so I can fill in the blanks.” Again, he’s staring at me with much puzzlement, making me clarify, “Well, I have spaces in my writing, and I just need her numbers to fill those in.”

He forms a big ‘O’ shape with his mouth as he mutters, “Oh.”

“Yeah, like—“

“Okay, guys, this is what we’re going to do to win that challenge! We’re not going to make our egg crack!” Gin, a dark, kind of buff guy from our team, proclaims. He looks like a sweet boy filled with happiness. He’s the sort of person that I know I’ll never be. I’m pretty sure that if this were a manga, he’d be the one that captured the shy female protagonist’s heart because of his bubbliness that reminded her of the sun. Sadly . . . I don’t think that’s meant for me. I probably tuned out too much because all I remember Gin asking was, “So, what do you guys think?”

There’s that tiny pause before Saeryun informs in a calm voice, “I think that sounds good.”

“Sweet!” Gin pumps his fists, cheering. “Yeah! We’re going to so rock this!”

This as in this challenge of dropping our egg protected by solely newspapers held by tape down two flights of stairs. To be honest, I’m rather bored throughout the competition. My mind isn’t here. All I want to do is go home and sleep on my bed. I do not find anyone that I can click with so easily here, and when I think I’d meet someone new, it turns out it’s just Saeryun. Really, there are six groups in total made up of five to six people. I can’t believe my darn luck, and out of sheer boredom, I ask Saeryun after we finished the competition, “So you know how I said I should be casual when I fire her? Can I just try it on you and you tell me what you think?”

Saeryun gives me that puzzled stare as always. It’s like anything I say to him is a shock in some way. Okay, I am not that weird. Got it? He’s disagreeing with me by uneasily blinking, but being the nice guy he likes to be, he answers, “S-s-sure.”

“Okay . . . so here I go . . .” I cough before changing my tone into a stern one. “Okay, we need to talk . . . Haha . . . Hahahaha! Oh my god. I’m going to start laughing when I do this.” I take another breath and try again. “Okay, so I understand that there has been a lot of things going on with your life, but even before then, it seemed like you were never really committed to the club. You have the lowest attendance rate. I pretty much do your job, and well, I’m worried that you won’t be able to fulfill your duties. So, I think it’s best if you step down. So . . . what do you think?”

“Umm . . .”

“It’s not chill enough right?”

“Oh,” he looks down as he mutters, “no, no, I think . . .” Then, his eyes brighten, and he declares, “I think it was good. “

“Really?” 

“Yeah, it was fine.”

“So it was casual enough? It wasn’t too harsh?”

“Nope.”

“Phew.”

“So when are you going to tell her?” Saeryun wonders.

“After English class!”

“Oh well, good luck.” 

He hands me a gentle smile, so I smile back, saying, “Thank you!”

 So, Saeryun isn’t that bad of a guy. I guess he and I can be a tiny bit better than colleagues but not close friends or good ones. I suppose he’s just a friend, a casual one. Maybe, I’m getting a bit too picky with my classifications. Yeah, I probably am.

And so the rest of the night is filled with boredom. Michiko is already hinting that she’ll leave earlier because she can’t study under this boisterous environment. I understand her circumstances, so I choose to leave with her. I didn’t have a sleeping bag handy or any blankets, so I can’t exactly sleep on the ground. That’s not the life for me. These aren’t the people that I want to be with, and there’s not a guy here that interests me.
That’s when I realize that I have it bad. 

I like Mr. Ninja, no, Kai, a lot, and I don’t even know him well enough. Is this purely infatuation or is this what people call, love at first sight?

Reactions: