Curiosity 3: Pregnant, Engaged, and Set to Marry

I’m not even sure why I am so nice in the first place to follow through with Sungyeol’s demand. Actually, I was thinking of bailing, but after Sungyeol kept dropping by my office to remind me of the date I had with his future wife, I . . . had no excuse to refuse. He even bribed me with my daily dose of apple juice. Really, I’m a huge fan of apples. I can’t go on living a day without my apple juice just like how coffee addicts need their morning rush of caffeine. 


So, here I am standing in front of the largest, wedding boutique in Seoul. This is where I want to buy my own dream wedding dress in the future. It’s a shame that I have to step in here first for someone else. Honestly, I hate my life, and to prevent other people from recognizing me and then causing more drama in my life, I wear my oversized, Chanel sunglasses and a black Dior bag. Classy like Audrey Hepburn. I’m really just missing some pearls, a little black dress, and some white gloves to be at Breakfast in Tiffany’s in an Asian style. But really . . . who am I joking here?

I’m just in a pair of black skinny jeans, black, velvet blazer, a black, chiffon blouse, and wedged black heels with a bit of fur. Yes, I’m pretty decked out in the colour of sombre, which totally wrecks the whole wedding feeling. The Dior bag was a gift from the boys for my twenty-fifth birthday; they thought I needed some elegance in my life. I don’t really mind though. Seriously. After that trick Sungyeol pulled to make me become Sohee’s maid of honour, I think I deserve to play a few games here and there. Obviously, I’m not going to be a home wrecker. My mom would kill me for that, but I’m sure my mother wouldn’t mind me bullying the bride from time to time. 

All right, I say to myself. I can do this. 

I push through the door and immediately, a woman greets me and asks, “Hello Miss, do you have an appointment?”

“Ugh . . . I’m supposed to be accompanying . . . Sohee?” I answer rather nervously.

The woman looks through her book of appointments, and then greets me with a smile. “Ah,” she directs me, “right this way.”

I take off my sunglasses and slip them in my bag. I can’t bother to put them in the proper case. I’m pretty sure Sehun would throw a tantrum at me for not taking care of my belongings well enough. Whatever. He’s not here. Who gives a damn? Hehe.

As I follow the woman, I realize that I’m being directed to a special room. Usually, family members or friends of the bride would be waiting on some couch in public. However, we’re moving past those areas and diving deeper into this magnificent boutique. Really, you’d think this place would be puny, but inside, there are the high ceilings, grandiose chandeliers, racks and racks of dresses and mannequins posing in various positions. 

“Miss,” the woman opens a door decorated in gold and embellished with intricate carvings, “we are here.”

Inside the room, which is really like the size of a castle’s dining room, I see a young lady wearing a long-sleeved, cream, lace dress, beige Tory Burch flats, and a pearl pendant. She is sitting on a burgundy, velvet couch like a pageant queen with her legs slanted to the side. That . . . is one innocent-looking woman. Sungyeol’s ideal? Oh God. I don’t even need to crash a wedding, and I’m already in no competition with this girl. She and I are on the opposite sides of the spectrum. She is like a living doll with extremely delicate features and long, wavy hair. I feel like if I sneezed on her, she would not survive. If I even teased her, she would cry till rain would start to pour from the sky. Plus, I can just imagine her perfect aegyo. I admit it. I lose. I get why he is getting married and not asking me to marry him.

Damn. I feel like I got charred by charizard’s flame thrower. Make me a water pokemon too.

“Excuse me, but are you . . . Nam Leia?” she quietly asks.

Even more damn. She has such a meek, soft voice that could sink any sailor’s ship. The Asian Little Mermaid would have been her. Darn it. Why do I have to face such stiff competition? My self-esteem is crushed. I think I’m never going to get married. She is clearly much better looking than Sungyeol, and she settled with him? I’m not saying that Sungyeol is ugly. He’s just above average with his tallness and tolerable eyes and nose. His job isn’t amazing to score such a beautiful girl, and here I am helping him . . . He is one lucky bas.tard.

“Yes,” I answer and realize how manly I sound compared to her. Even when she is the height of an average model, I feel gigantic beside her. I just have a bit more meat all around.

As I approach her and eventually take my seat beside her, she smiles very serenely before announcing, “It’s a pleasure meeting you. I heard from Sungyeol that you have known him for quite a while now. I really have to thank you for being there for him. I’m sure Sungyeol brings a lot of trouble to people.” She even grabs onto my hands to add, “I’m really sorry for asking you to be my maid of honour. It’s just that . . . I’ve never really had any female friends.” 

She is looking at me with those sweet eyes that I feel like I can’t do much, but to be nice. “It’s fine.”

“Really? Are you sure? I was getting so worried that you would hate me.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know.” She places a finger on her lips and pouts. “All the girls that I’ve met ended up . . . hating me.” 

Yeah, I can kind of understand why. When you’re close to being perfect, of course, you will have jealous females. That’s what women are particularly good at being: jealous.

“Sohee?”

I whizz my head towards the man’s voice, and then I almost shriek when I see the guy that has already entered the room. In fact, I jump up from my seat and aim my finger towards him like I’m choosing the murderer from a set of head shots. I’m about to scream why in the world is he doing here, but then, something stops me. I don’t think . . . it’s Yeonjun. It can’t be Yeonjun; Yeonjun would never be caught dead wearing a pair of slouchy, grey sweat pants and a colourful, graffiti hoodie paired with a black beanie. However, this man looks exactly like him. They have the same milky skin, nose length and eyes. Luckily, they don’t share the same smile. Yeonjun’s smile oozes of conspiracy, while this guy’s is just genuinely pleasant. Could he be . . . Yeonjun’s doppelganger? Did those things even exist in the real world? I always thought they were just literary or psychological terms, but . . . he looks too much like Yeonjun! Ah! I want to pull at my hair!

“Is something the matter, Miss?” the copycat asks.

Oh my lord. He even sounds like Yeonjun, except this guy’s voice is slightly higher and nicer. Luckily, Sohee interrupts, “Oppa, this is Sungyeol’s friend, Nam Leia. She’ll be my maid of honour!” Then, Sohee looks at me and grins. “Leia, this is my oppa, Lee Minjun.”

Minjun. Phew. So it’s not Yeonjun. Honestly, Minjun is Yeonjun’s doppelganger. Just wait till I tell Yeonjun this. He’d freak out. Now, if only I could take a photo. . .

“Nice to meet you, Minjun,” I cut off my own thoughts to greet with a bow as Minjun heads towards us and takes a seat beside Sohee. 

“You know . . . you look kind of familiar,” Minjun, all of a sudden, utters. “I feel like I’ve seen you somewhere, but I just can’t . . .”

“Well, this is the first time I’ve met you,” I reassure him. “I’m usually pretty good with names, so there’s no way we’ve met before.”

“Yeah,” Minjun releases a chuckle while answering, “you’re probably right!” Then, he shifts his attention towards Sohee and asks, “So . . . is hyung going to come?”

“Yeah, he should be here soon,” Sohee replies in an uneasy tone. “I mean, when I talked to him, he said he had a meeting but can make it afterwards. That’s why I scheduled this in the afternoon.”

“Well,” Minjun lifts his oversized, chunky plastic watch and utters, “looking at the time, he seems to be--“

“Just on time.”

Mark my words as I begin to write my will. I regret challenging Yeonjun. In fact, if someone handed me a shovel right now, I would accept it and dig my own dirt grave. I would hide there like a vampire and wake up at night to run back to my place. What I am experiencing right now is way too humiliating that I think that there is really fate. I just keep on encountering embarrassing moments with Yeonjun. This has been a recurring trend growing at an exponential rate for the past few years now. Yeonjun manages to see the worst in me, and I joke not.

“Wh-wh-what are you doing here?” Yeonjun gapes at me with a fairly disdainful glare.

“Wow, I can’t believe it . . . hyung! We all thought you were going to skip out on—“

“Leia . . .” Yeonjun ignores Minjun’s words and inquires. “Can I have a word with you?”

“Oh, Leia, you know my oppa? Yeonjun? Oh my god! This is such a small world! I’m so excited for my wedding now! It’s going to be perfect!” Sohee squeals and clings onto my hands. We’re jumping up and down foolishly from the sofa. My eyes though are still nervously glimpsing at Yeonjun’s. He is not a happy camper. He is the destructive, bratty kid at camp that everyone hates. Damn. Now, Sohee makes things even worse by asking, “So, Leia, how do you know my oppa? Are you two—“

“No!” both of us scream in unison and point at each other. “We’re not dating! Who would ever date him/her?”

“Aw, Minjun, they are so cute! I think they’re a match in heaven!” She turns to address Minjun with a glowing smile. Then, she focuses on Yeonjun again to say, “Oppa, I’m so happy that you’ve found the one for you. I’ve always been worried about you.”

Huh? Worried about Yeonjun? The fu.ck? I think someone has been taking the wrong pills here. Yeonjun has no problems in the dating world. He has had a few steady girlfriends unlike me. Girls approach him at bars too . . . unlike me. He has asked out a few ladies too . . . unlike me. I think someone should be worried about me instead.

“Yo, hyung, is she really your girlfriend?” Minjun asks. I still can’t get used to the fact that someone has the same face and genetic makeup as Yeonjun. I mean, there is no other explanation for this except that they are twins. Somehow, it’s a miracle that I can tell them apart. Actually, now that I think of it, it’s really easy. The bit.chy one is Yeonjun and the nice one is Minjun. Oh, and Yeonjun has a tiny mole on his upper lip and a small freckle at the left side of his neck. Minjun is free of moles.

“Leia . . . can I now have a word with you . . . in private?”

“Yeah . . . sure.”

We make our way out of the whole store and into the bloody coldness. As soon as that door shuts behind me, Yeonjun demands, “So . . . explain yourself.”

“Explain what? There’s nothing to explain. Aha.” I giggle nervously. 

“Right. Why the hell are you my sister’s maid of honour?”

“Your sister . . . you know, she really doesn’t look like you,” I point out.

“She’s my half-sister, but that’s beside the point.”

“Huh?”

“Anyhow, I thought someone wasn’t lying. Cough. Cough.”

“Well, you see, who knew Sungyeol would get married? Aha. I mean, he was taking me to go bridal gown shopping or at least that’s what I thought! Who knew it’d . . . be your sister that he wanted to a buy a dress for? Ugh.” I pretend to play dumb and even slam my palm against my forehead.

“Mhm, I knew you were lying anyhow. Seemed too good to be true.”

“Just you wait, Yeonjun. I’ll find my man.”

“before then, just be a good maid of honour, okay? Don’t play games and—“

“Wait, Yeonjun, you like her! You like your own sister!”

“Wh-wh-what? What makes you think that?”

“You’re never so . . .”

“You’re thinking too much, Leia. She’s my sister for god’s sake.”

Then . . . why did it seem like he sprinted over here? There’s some sweat on the back of his white button-up shirt. His tie is even slightly loosened probably because he was in a hurry to sprint to this place. Quietly, I say to myself, “Well, if I’m bad at lying, then you are too. Stupid.” 

Out of the blue, Yeonjun swivels around and harks at me, “What’d you call me?”

“Don’t worry.” I tap his arm a few times. “I know what I need to do for you.”

“W-w-wait! What?”

“I get it.” I nod thrice. “I get that you’re stuck in this forbidden love, so don’t worry, since you’re my bff, I’m going to be on your side and wreck a wedding for you.”

“What?” Yeonjun hollers so noisily that I need to cover my ears with my palms.

“Sheesh! You’re trying to get my deaf or something?” I grumble under my breath. “And here I was doing you a favour.”

“What favour? Who said you needed to—“

“Tsk.” I place my finger on his lips to silence him. Thankfully, I’m wearing five inch heels for this to even be possible. “You don’t have to say anything anymore. I totally know what we have to do to rip them apart. Then, you can win over your beloved’s heart! I’m a genius, aren’t I?”

Yeonjun flicks my forehead, causing me to groan in pain. “No!” he bellows. “You’re frigging retarded! Have you even been paying attention to what I said? I don’t—“

“Yeonjun, don’t lie to yourself, buddy,” I cut him off. “I know how hard it is to be hiding behind a façade. If you love her, then just say it. I won’t judge. I swear.”
“No, seriously, Leia, I don’t like her like—“

“Yeonjun,” I interrupt once more. “Just chill. Leave everything to me. I’ve got it covered. Bros before hoes right?”

“Whatever, Leia. Honestly, just do whatever you want.”

“Yay Yeonjun! See? I knew you could be cute like Sehun too! Gosh, why can’t you be cooperative all the time, Yeonjun? Mm?” I fling my arms around him and give him an aggressive hug. It’s always Sehun who is hugging me, so I really don’t know how much force I should put into this. Oh well, I think, and as I’m about to loosen my grasp, I feel a set of arms locking me in place. They’re Yeonjun’s, and they are astonishingly gentle. I think the last time he hugged me like this was when I found out a guy only asked me out because of a dare with his friend. Apparently, that guy and his friend wanted to break the Ice Queen. Yes, with my fu.ck-off face, I’m sure people think I’m like Myungsoo on his super unapproachable days. Never mind, Myungsoo though. This hug . . . is really too compassionate to be true. Usually, Yeonjun would make some sarcastic remark or scoff at me. Instead, I feel so close to him; our hips are pressing against each other. I’m not very sure when I’m supposed to let go.

As I’m pondering, I think I hear Yeonjun whisper, “And why can’t you just understand?”

“Understand what?”

“Hey, what’s taking you guys so . . . oh, oops! I didn’t mean to interrupt you guys,” Minjun chirps.

“Ugh, look what you’ve done, Leia!” Yeonjun backs away and glares at me. “Now, Minjun is misunderstanding us. Knowing my idiotic brother, he’s going to blab about this.”

Immediately, a thought flashes through my mind. I know, I know this idea isn’t very creative, and I’ve probably been watching too many Asian dramas to replace the lack of romance in my life. However, I think in this case, this clichéd scheme will work, and so, I reassure Yeonjun, “It’s okay! I think it’ll work in our favour.”

“Huh?” Yeonjun does that eyebrow lift again.

“You’ll see, Yeonjun,” I state confidently. “I have the perfect plan for you.” I do my best wink at him, which turns out to be a disaster because both of my eyes blink and my mouth extends to both sides.

Yeonjun chuckles instead of thanking me. “Sh.it, Leia, you’re constipating again.”

“Fu.ck you, Yeonjun,” I holler. “Really, fu.ck you!”

Placing his hand on his cheek, he utters, “Actually, being john teshed by you doesn’t seem that that bad. At least you don’t come with a Richard.”
“Thanks, Yeonjun.” I purposely release a long sigh. “How heartwarming. And aren’t you glad that I also came with assets?”
“That are rather questionable.”

“Hey!” I shout while pounding my chest. “These are B cups, okay?”

“If you ask me, I think you’re pushing it.” Yeonjun exhales a deep breath. “I’m pretty sure I’ve seen some A cups hanging around your drawers.”

“What? You went through my stuff?”

“Yo!” Yeonjun reminds me. “I had to help you pack one day. Remember? You were moving from your home to your new apartment?”

I’m trying to go through my memories like a computer searching for a file. I’m inputting the title of the document, Moving to apartment, in my head. I should have created a folder of it in my head since it was a rather important process. So . . . within seconds, I remember what Yeonjun is referring to, and that memory even brings a tiny smile to my face. I remember how chaotic the whole moving process was. Actually, I had written down the wrong date for my move and so I thought I had loads of time to pack. Thankfully, the movers called the day before, which meant I really had one night to throw everything in cardboard boxes. To tell you the truth, I had not even gotten any cardboard boxes. I was super desperate for help at that point; thus, I decided to call on the guys. Sehun made up some excuse that he couldn’t move because he never liked to do anything that would strain his muscles. Eunhyuk, on the other hand, had to show houses that day; he is a real estate agent after all. Myungsoo had a program to write and that was due the next day. Howon was on a business trip in Tokyo, so there was really only Yeonjun. He, at first, told me that he had a lunch date, but after five minutes of shouting at him about how screwed I was for this move, he reluctantly agreed to help me pack. He also managed to bring tons of cardboard boxes and duct tape over to my parent’s place.

You’d think that my parents would be surprised to see a man helping me pack, but really, they treat Yeonjun like their son. I’m sure they like Yeonjun more than me. They are always feeding him snacks and telling him to stay over to eat. They think he is the most well-mannered guy, and they don’t understand why I don’t have feelings for him. Really, Mom and Dad? Really? You think I’m going to fall for someone that may be prettier than me when in women’s clothing? You think I’m going to date someone that constantly engages in a battle of sarcasm with me? You think I’m really going to even consider kissing someone that has shared with me his sexual encounters? Umm . . . no, no and no.

Because we pretty much have no feelings for each other, I don’t care about Yeonjun being in my room. In fact, he has slept over several times, and we even shared a bed together on all those occasions. Sometimes, he gets so drunk that he goes to any of our places, and since he has the spare key to my apartment, he enters without telling me. Now if it were anyone else, I’d get really pissed off, but since he’s my go to person whenever I lose my key, I let him be. I’m pretty sure he has seen all of my sides, except for my naked one. Thank goodness for that, but that doesn’t mean that he needed to go check out my bra size.

That’s why I tell him, “Oh . . . but you didn’t have to handle my lingerie.”

Yeonjun’s frown deepens as he explains, “Who was the one that said she couldn’t fold underwear and bras properly? Huh? Who made me go Google how to do these things?”

Right . . . I was so stressed that point that I told him to stuff everything and try to fold all of my clothes as compactly as possible. I’m sure it was that time that I told him that I had no idea how to actually put away my lingerie.

“Okay, okay,” I admit. “So it was my fault, but really, I outgrew those As.”

“R-r-right.” Yeonjun rolls his eyes naturally.

I use one hand to grope my breasts to show him my point. “Honestly, look!” I point with a free finger towards my chest. “Look at these babies! They’re B babies!” 
“On their best days,” he corrects me. “Before menstruation.”

“Hey!” I grab one of his hands and places it on top of my chest. “See? That’s a B.” Unexpectedly, he uses both of his hands to give my breasts a good squeeze as if he were squirting lemon juice to season some smoke salmon. “Hey!” I shriek while pushing him away from me. “Who said you could grope them? Huh?”

“What? You offered me to test them out,” he muttered with his eyebrows scrunched up together. “And I say they’re A/B, but mainly a large A. You got an A though! You should be proud. Hehe.”

“Fu.ck you!”

Yeonjun releases a sigh while shaking his head. “You know if you keep saying that, I’m going to believe that you’re offering me to fu.ck you.”

“W-w-w-well, screw you!”

“Leia, those are synonyms.”

“W-w-well, you’re a—“

“Leia? Yeonjun?” It’s Minjun again. He probably thought it was odd how we never returned to the store and how we were still standing outside. “Are you two bickering as a couple?” Minjun now asks. "Honestly, when you guys said you weren't dating, I really didn't believe you two."

“We aren’t—“

Immediately, I cut Yeonjun off and swing my arm around his waist. “Ah yes, we are actually dating! Yeonjun just likes to keep our relationship in the dark. I mean, we've been best friends for too long, so it's weird to sort of tell our friends about our status. Anyhow, Yeonjun just doesn’t think I should ever get dresses from here. Actually, I’m not even sure if Yeonjun has considered marrying me.” Yeonjun, at this moment, gives me a huge elbow towards my back. I squeeze his waist that he winces a bit aloud. “I mean, he should right?” I continue to wonder. “We’ve been together for so long. He should be responsible for taking away my innocence. Cough. Cough.”

“Oh . . . wow, Yeonjun,” Minjun notes with an extremely puzzled expression. “I had no idea . . . that you were—“

“Yeah, I actually have no id—“

“Oh, Yeonjun, don’t be shy!” I quickly interrupt. “I know you’ve always wanted us to be a secret, but I think it’s time we came clean.”

“About?”

“Our relationship, silly! Actually, I’m also pregnant with your kid, Yeonjun, so you have to marry me,” I threaten in a smooth tone.

“What?” Yeonjun shrieks along with Minjun. I can see that they really are twins. They even make the same gestures with their open palms by their sides and shoulder shrugs.

“Oh Jesus, Yeonjun, don’t act so surprised,” I add. “With the amount of unprotected sex we had, of course, I was bound to be pregnant. I mean, sure, I could have taken birth control pills, but I thought it was time that we moved on with our relationship.”

The two boys are twitching their eyes at me. Okay, so my story may send a little far-fetched and maybe, I shouldn’t have mentioned the unprotected sex and should have went with the love we shared, but I’m sure Minjun would believe me. He already thinks we are a couple right? Sure enough, Minjun announces, “Well, congratulations, Hyung! There’ll be three weddings for us! Junghoon’s, Sohee’s and yours! Though . . . I’m not very sure what Appa would say. Ah, Leia, you’ve got to stay strong when facing our father, okay? He can be a—“

“Minjun, can you just give us a minute?”

“Sure!”

“Leia! What the hell are you thinking?” Yeonjun barks at me.

“Didn’t I say I had a perfect plan?”

“Which involves me impregnating you and us getting married as result of that? How is that even a perfect plan? Huh?”

“Rest assured, amigo.” I give his arm a few pats. “You will get the girl in the end.”

“That’s not the point here, Leia!”

“What do you mean by that’s not the point?”

“Ugh!” Yeonjun thrashes his arms in the air and messes up his hair in the process. “You started this mess and you’ll be the one cleaning it up! Okay?”

“Don’t worry,” I answer along with a nod. “We’ll break up before we know it. I’ll also lose the baby too. Don’t worry and trust me, buddy. It’ll just be in front of these people.”

“And my parents! Knowing Minjun, he’s going to blab to them, and that’ll just be troublesome.”

“I’ll shut his mouth somehow.”

“Right. It’s not going to work. Just tell them the truth. Please?”

Yeonjun’s “please” is making me waver. This guy never says anything polite to me, but as a friend, I can’t let him down. I already promised to help him fulfill his desire for his half-sister, so I need to be loyal and keep to my word. I’m not going to make him ignore his feelings. He’s my best friend! I’m not going to be a bad friend!

Shaking my head, I inform him, “No . . .Yeonjun. We are going with my plan.”

“Leia . . .” he suddenly calls out.

“Yeah?”

“You know that there’s no going back beyond this point?” 

I’m not really sure what he means by that, but I just spontaneously pretend to understand. “Yeah,” I agree. “Of course I know there’s no turning back.”

“Okay . . . as long as you know . . . that you’re in it for the long run, then . . .”

Long run? I guess he means like a year or two? That seems pretty long, and I seriously doubt I’ll find anyone special at this point. I still have four years before I hit the big 30. Then, I’ll start panicking, and I’ll even begin to consider freezing my eggs. I’ll get Myungsoo to figure that out. For now, it’ll be to help out Yeonjun, my best friend! 

“Seriously, Yeonjun, don’t sweat it!” I announce.

“Okay, well, I guess I should tell you that I actually have a fiancée that my parents want me to marry,” Yeonjun unexpectedly confesses. What? Fiancee? What? Since when was Yeonjun taken? Since when was he part of some arranged marriage? How old school has he been living his life? Huh? And before I can even process anything, Yeonjun carries on to say, “Oh, and I’m actually preparing to take over my Dad’s company, La Reine de Glace.”

Insert the moment to faint and wake up in some hospital. Really. I’m wide awake. I’m just in shock. La Reine de Glace, Ice Queen? One of the largest cosmetic companies in Korea? What gold mine did I hit? Call me a gold digger, but . . . when you learn that your most likely unemployed best friend is some CEO in the making, of course, your heart will skip way too many beats. When he looks good and is capable of working, then . . . really, what lotto jackpot did I cash in on? But wait . . . snap out of it, Leia! You are not a gold digger! You are just a good friend who is concerned about a friend’s love life! You are just . . . thinking that . . . maybe . . . Yeonjun can introduce a good guy to you. He must have great connections! Oh goodness. I feel so selfish. Argh, Nam Leia, you have to—

“Leia . . .” Yeonjun gently notes. “I know what you’re thinking. You pretty much have dollar signs in your eyes. Ka-ching! Ka-ching!” He clears his throat now to add, “And this is why I didn’t want to tell any of you guys what I was doing. You’d probably treat me like some zoo animal, wanting me to introduce people to you guys or asking me what I actually do.”

“Okay!” I raise my right hand up to pledge. “I promise I will not ask you anything about your lifestyle, and I will not see you as a gold block or a dollar sign!”

“And you won’t ask me to introduce good guys to you?” he questions.

“No! I will not ask you to . . . but . . . what if I hit 30 and I’m still rotting?” I mumble quietly.

“Then, I’ll just donate my sperm to you,” Yeonjun nonchalantly suggests.

“Oh, that sounds pretty good. I mean, if I want to . . . wait, what?” I direct my finger at him. “What? You actually fathering my child? That’s so messed up!”

“What? I’m doing you a favour. You still want a kid to take care of you when you’re old right?”

I fold my arms, sighing, “Ugh, that sounds so wrong.”

“Don’t worry.” Yeonjun now pats my head and squishes me down. “I’m willing to bet one of my testicles that you’ll marry before 40.”

“That . . . sounds . . . awful. And why would I want one of your testicles?” I shout.

“Not sure.” He lifts his shoulders then quickly relaxes them. “Sperm for your kid?”

“Ugh! You know what? Let’s just stop talking about this, and go back in,” I advise while making my way for the store’s entrance. Without any notification, Yeonjun wraps his arm around my waist and gives me that nasty, evil smirk. “Wh-wh-what are you doing?” I sputter.

“Why, darling, I’m showering you with love,” he responds. “Wasn’t that part of your lovely plan?”

“Yeah, but umm . . . we really don’t have to be, you know, the loving sort of couple?”

“Wouldn’t it be weird if we got fu.ck so many times but have no passion in real life?”

“Well, about the fu.cking . . .”

“You’re the one that said we had unprotected sex for so many times, so I think you pretty much defined our relationship as one that is filled with lust and should burn out in a few months,” he wittingly prompts me.

And . . . sob, sob, sob . . . this is why . . . I need to think before I act.