I'm so sorry for not writing as much as I'd like. I guess you can say that I'm on a semi-hiatus. My whole life is a mess that I don't have time to sort out my creative thoughts. I'm too frustrated with how things are. I feel like I'm fighting for nothing. It's an endless route no matter how I envision it.

They say love hurts, but I think failure hurts just as much. I've never been good with failures. I've always been afraid to confront conflict or accept setbacks. I tell myself that it's okay. When one door closes, a new one will open, but it's hard. It's hard when so many doors slam in your face. It's hard to be strong.

I remember asking someone what he'd like to do if he had the chance to travel back in time. He said he'd like to tell himself that everything will be just fine, that he shouldn't be afraid and that he shouldn't worry.

That's what I wish would happen too.

It'll be okay.

Even if you tumble, trip, crash onto the ground, you still pick yourself up eventually. It'll hurt. It'll hurt for sure, but you'll heal in time. There might be a scar if the cut is deep enough, and whenever you see that scar, you'll think of the lesson learned.

Right now, I just realize how naive I am. I expect people to be nice in general, but I've just taken kindness for granted. Kindness is rare these days, and it seems stupid for me to continue being friendly. But . . . I can't picture myself any other way. I'd like to think that there's karma, yet I don't like the idea of revenge. I guess I'm pretty stupid after all. A fool, really.

And no matter how many times my heart is crushed, I don't think I would change who I am or twist my values to get what I want.

In the future, if I am capable of helping someone, I will genuinely help.

There's a difference between being polite and pretending to be nice. I'd rather you be mean than fake niceness to advance in life.