Author's Note:

To the readers that regularly follow my blog, sorry that I'm posting CKTL sort of out of order for now. I'll post the other chapters after this. So, feel free to skip this chapter for now if you haven't read the stuff I have on soompi. I'm actually so sorry for not updating CKTL that often here. It's just that I type this particular on soompi on their editing page, so I just need to press post and everything will be fine there. Anyhow, I will update with the remaining chapters within this summer!

For those that have been linked from Soompi, I just have to warn you again that this part has a lot of sexual content. I'd give it a rated R warning, so please make sure that you are old enough to be reading something of this level ie 18 and above. 

Chapter 29.2: XXX
Before I wear what I got with Jessica, I realize that I don’t smell very nice. In fact, I smell like I just finished going to the gym. Thus, I decide to take a quick shower and blow dry my hair. Then, I get changed and put a bathrobe on to cover this lacy thing. I peep out of my bedroom and notice Sehun sitting on the couch, watching TV.

“Umm . . .” I chirp very, very quietly. “Umm . . . why don’t you . . . umm . . . get ready too? Like . . . shower?”

“Yeah. Okay.”

I dash to the kitchen as Sehun vanishes to the other bathroom. I need to swallow an Advil to ease the pain when my hymn gets broken. I’m sure that I’ll feel pain. I’ve never been those lucky types of people who get away with anything. I’ve always been cursed with . . . Never mind.


The pill has been swallowed. Now, I need to grab Subin’s gift, those condoms. I find that present that is covered in neon green wrapping paper and quickly take a few condoms that should taste the best, like chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry. I don’t think we’ll need the whole box right? That seems insane. I’m pretty sure my vagina would break if that ever happens.

Then, I make my way back to my bedroom. I place the condoms on the night stand before hiding under the covers. I don’t exactly feel comfortable exposing myself completely on the bed. Luckily, the lights have not been turned on either. I don’t want him seeing every part of me clearly. There’s not much to see anyways.
As I lie there and wait, I can’t help but feel my heart pumping harder and harder. I’m getting antsy and jittery.
He’ll be here in any moment now, I keep thinking in my head. Is there something that I have forgotten to do as well? Should I have brought in those other presents from the other people? Would those be appropriate for the first time? 

Ah . . . does my breath smell okay? 

I breathe out and waft the smell towards my nose. Not bad. Could be better. Maybe, I’ll just brush my teeth now. I creep out of my blanket, and just as I’m about to hop off the bed, I hear Sehun’s footsteps approaching. Ah! There goes the blanket over my head. Lie still, Leia. Lie still. Don’t even breathe. Hold your breath, and then . . .


I have been discovered by Sehun. My eyes are still shut together, but I can hear him utter, “Relax. I’ll be very, very gentle. We’ll go slowly. Okay?”

“O-O-O-Okay . . .” I stammer with my eyes still closed.

“And if you ever feel uncomfortable,” he says while placing his hand over mine, “just tell me to stop and I’ll stop. All right?”

“All . . . right.”

“Now . . . open your eyes?” he suggests in a soft tone. 

At the speed of a snail, I obey him, and I realize that he is sitting right beside me, staring at me. Before I can even respond to him, he leans in and gives me a gentle peck right on the lips. This peck, though, turns into a passionate kiss as our lips brush between each other’s. His tongue slips into my mouth and swirls from time to time. I can feel his hand caressing my arms, and then he slowly adjust his position so that he ends up towering over me.  

Sehun takes his t-shirt off, revealing his toned abs. Damn . . . he is actually much fitter than I thought he was. I thought he was just bones. Who knew? Who knew? Now I feel embarrassed with my body. I definitely don’t have nice abs. I’m pretty sure I’m the one with a layer of fat around my waist. Great.

“You’re staring,” he mumbles quietly as if he’s like an elementary school boy without any experience with girls.

“Because they’re nice . . .” 

Somehow, I manage to say something pretty bold. Is this what people refer to as talking seductively? Obviously, though, I fail at seduction because Sehun actually takes my hand and places it on one of his abs. With both of us sitting up now, he gives me a cheeky smile. 

“You like them more?” he asks.

Let me take back what I said about him being an elementary school boy. He’s more like a wolf under that sheep skin, and if that’s the case, then I should be daring too.

I stroke that region a few times, noting, “Yeah . . . I do like them . . . a lot.”

“Leia . . . don’t yet . . .” I hear him moan once.

“Don’t what?” I decide to play dumb but place my hand lower around his thigh.

“D-d-d-don’t touch me yet,” he murmurs. “I-I-I have to get you ready first.”

Me? Ready? What does he mean by that? I’m trying to go through those porn scenes I’ve seen. I think I remember the guy asking if he can enter the girl, but before that there’s a lot of teasing and fondling. Ah! I feel so embarrassed now when I realize what Sehun means. 

I’m not wet enough. Those AV actresses always had their panties soaked like water, and then that’s supposed to act as lubricant . . . I think. At least I remember in Biology, my teacher said that vaginal discharge act as that.
Because I’ve been lost in my own little world, I don’t even realize that Sehun has already removed my bathrobe and is about to take off my black, lacy teddy until I feel goosebumps forming on my skin. 

“Ah!” I cover my breasts with my arms and roll over to my side.

“Wh-wh-what’s wrong?” he wonders.

“I-I-I-It’s embarrassing,” I stumble through my words hopelessly. 

“You mean . . . wearing that?” he asks. 

I nod my head slowly and feel those cheeks burn, baby, burn. Please don’t make me turn around and face you. I’m mortified right now. I don’t need you to see me flushing. Please . . .

I feel Sehun’s lips sweetly rest on neck. Then, he whispers, “You’re beautiful.” 

His compliment makes my heart tingle, and my arms start to relax. He makes a trail of kisses from there to all the way down my spine. I feel the lace tease my skin every time he moves further and further down.

“I’m so happy that you cared enough to wear this for me,” he, all of a sudden, remarks before carefully pulling down the straps and unbuckling the back. His hands cover my breasts and caress them. I accidentally let out a groan, causing him to murmur against my skin, “You don’t have to hold back. Just relax and let go of everything.”

I turn my head back to tell him something, but instead, Sehun silences me with another deep kiss. I support myself by putting most of my weight on one of my arms while the other steadies on his chin. Meanwhile, his naughty hands run all over my body, mainly around my breasts. He teases my nipples with his fingers, occasionally pinching them without warning.

“Ah,” I unintentionally gasp in between our kiss and fall onto my back. “D-d-don’t . . .”

“You sure?” he ponders, stopping everything.

Again, Sehun is hovering over me. The two of us stare at each other intently, and I feel like I’m drunk or something. I don’t know how to think or what to say in fact. I just . . . 

His lips rest on top of mine for a light peck. “So . . .” he asks in between another kiss. “You still want to go on? I’m going to have to . . . take everything off of you. You realize that?”

“Go on,” I sputter. “Just keep going. I don’t like doing things half-heartedly.”

“Me neither.” 

He chuckles before licking my nipples and bringing his fingers down to my private area. He strokes it a few times, putting pressure at times to surprise me. I start to feel my underwear getting to that stage. I guess . . . I am getting turned on. Ah. I feel like an animal. I’m so humiliated.

“Leia,” Sehun glances up to remark, “don’t clamp your legs together. Can you open them a bit for me?”

“D-d-d-do I have to? I-I-It’s embarrassing . . .”

“Don’t worry,” he reassures me. “I like every part of you, and we can honestly stop if you’re feeling uncomfortable.”

I know Sehun isn’t trying to guilt trip me at all. He is actually being serious that I can end this whole thing, but I know that I can’t just hide in a corner for sex. I need to be braver, and I do want to try this out. As a result, I spread my legs a bit wider.

“Is that . . . wide enough?” I question.

“A bit more would be even better?”

As soon as I do what he says, I feel him take off my whole teddy and then something go into me. “Wh-wh-what is that?” I ask.

“It’s just my finger,” he states. “You all right with that? I want to make sure that you’re wet enough, but did it hurt?”

“N-N-No . . . it was just . . . surprising?”

Then, I feel his finger move within me, curling from time to time. “Ah . . .” I mumble. Sehun inserts another finger, causing me to whimper.

“Does it hurt?” he quickly asks.

“N-N-N-No . . .” I stammer out of embarrassment. “That was a good whimper.”

“Oh . . . good.” He breathes a sigh of relief before pushing his fingers deeper into me.


He starts kissing that particular region too while his fingers continue to do their job. To be honest, I never thought that this would ever feel good, yet surprisingly, it does. I’m almost tempted to ask him to go a bit faster and maybe a tiny bit rougher. Just as that thought runs through my mind, he halts and utters, “Give me a minute, okay?” 

“Huh?” I sit up and wonder. “What are you—“ I stop myself from continuing as I realize what he is doing. “Do you . . . need some help?” I ask kindly. “I feel bad for not doing anything for you.” 

“Well . . .” he nervously suggests. “It might . . . go faster if you touch it, b-b-b-but don’t feel like you have to.”
“I’ll do it,” I tell him. “I’ll touch it.”

I crawl to him and then head right for that spot. I place my hand there and then give it a squeeze. “Ah,” he winces.

“Oh my God! Did I hurt you?”

“Y-y-yeah . . . kind of.” Directing me how to do it properly, he instructs, “Now move up and down like that.”

“Like this?” I act like I’m shaking an alcoholic drink.

“Yes,” he answers. “You can also change pressure, speed, and direction.” I attempt a twisting motion, and he actually releases a suppressed groan. That seems to be a good sign, so I continue with that while mixing in some different moves. We get to the point where I really feel his member harden, and he immediately tells me, “S-S-Stop. . .”

"So I should stop then . . ."

“No . . .”

“No? What does that mean? I thought you said that--"

“Ah . . . Let . . . go now or else I'll . . ."

“Okay. I'll let go.” I back away and retreat to my original spot. 

Sehun heads to where I am after putting on a condom, and once more, he is on top of me. This time, he looks at me seriously and asks, “Is it okay if I put it in?”

“Will it hurt?” I pose.

“It probably will . . .” he tells me.

“Then . . . can you . . . kiss me . . . so I get distracted from the pain?” I request.

Sehun does exactly what I ask and after a few kisses, he sticks it in. It hurts so much that I immediately yelp in pain. Advil really didn’t help much. I feel something wet coming out, and I’m pretty sure that it’s blood. Damn . . . this actually hurts more than I anticipated.

“You really okay?” Sehun verifies. “I can pull it out and we can stop if it hurts too much.”

“It’s . . . fine,” I manage to say. “I mean it's already in, so . . . let's just finish this up.”

“You make it seem like a chore. Haha.”

“Well, right now it does feel that way. Who knew it'd hurt so—“

Sehun cuts me off with another kiss.  “I love you, Leia,” he declares in a sexy, sultry voice. Subsequently, I feel him moving in and out of me slowly.

“Ah . . .” I cry.

His pace starts to increase, and I feel myself tighten. “Uh . . .” I hear him mumble as he pushes harder into me. I wrap my arms around his back as I feel a tear roll down my cheek. He stops moving, and asks, “You okay? You really okay?”

“Yeah. Just . . . just keep going,” I urge.

Sehun kisses the area of my cheek that has been stained with my tear before continuing. He starts at a slow rhythm again, and then goes faster. My hips begin to move against his timing, leading him to groan a bit louder. 
“Leia,” he calls out. “Oh . . . Leia.”

I’m not sure if I’m supposed to say his name too, so I try: “Sehun?”

He keeps thrusting into me as he states, “Leia . . . I-I-I-I might not be able to s-s-s-stop at . . .“

Once I hold onto him tighter, both of us grunt. I’m starting to feel this weird excitement rushing through my blood. I want him to go faster. I want him to go deeper and harder. My hips move on their own to feel more of him, and then . . .

“Ah!” Both of us yell in unison.

There’s this sudden release coming from me. I can’t describe this feeling very well. It feels good, but in a weird way.

Sehun now comes out of me and lies beside me, panting. I see a bit of sweat rolling down his forehead. My body, too, feels pretty hot, and I can still sense the after effects of this . . . climax? 

Shifting his head to look at me, I notice that Sehun is . . . sobbing?

Without a word, I snuggle by him and give him a hug. “What’s wrong?” I ask.

“I . . .”

“You didn’t hurt me,” I tell him.

“Good,” he sighs. “I really . . . couldn’t stop then. I’m so sorry. I should have—“

This time, I’m the one that hushes him with a kiss, and out from my mouth, I let those three words slip: “I love you.”

Sehun cries harder, reminding me of a lost baby. As I cradle him in my arms, I feel glad that I let him take my virginity. He clearly cherishes me a lot. Throughout that whole period, he has always asked if I’m okay. He was so gentle towards me. Of course, my heart will lean to him. I even said those words without thinking.
Is this love then? What about Yeonjun then? What was that? Is it possible to love two people at the same time? Because . . . I’m starting to feel that way . . .