I asked a friend if she would have liked to go to the future and skip this part of her life. She told me that she just wanted her future self to come to the present to tell her that everything will be okay.
Sometimes, we don’t need someone to comfort us. We just need to tell ourselves that everything will be fine. We just need to believe in ourselves and keep pressing forward.

I have always liked this line from Gone with the Wind: “Tomorrow is another day.”

I do like to add that you must also know how to seize tomorrow. Wishful thinking will get you nowhere.
Speaking of wishful thinking, I think I must acknowledge that I have had my share of childhood dreams. Boy, I’m sounding rather old now for my age . . . which I will not reveal for my own sake. My mother said that my dream was to be a bride every day. Now, all I could think of when I heard that was polygamy. Yes, how notorious for a child to be married to different husbands every day. I honestly don’t remember saying that that was my dream, and I laugh at it now. 

I can’t imagine myself getting married any time soon. In fact, I might not even be married. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking these days and all I can say is that marriage is scary. Maybe, it’s because I’ve seen too many failed marriages on TV and in real life. I hear complaints from the bride and the groom. I also feel pressure. I’m not the sort to date casually, so there’s that huge anticipation of who I’d settle with. I can just imagine my parents wanting to know everything about that “special guy”. Knowing myself, I don’t like to fail. Okay, so maybe I shouldn’t treat marriage like a test. You either fail it or pass it, but I can’t help feeling that I should not disappoint.

Now, that’s one side of failure that I feel. Going back to childhood dreams, I believe that I used to choose the same dream as a friend’s or my sibling’s. If my friend said she wanted to be a vet, then I agreed that I wanted to be one too. When my sister said that she wanted to be a doctor, I secretly agreed to become one as well. Looking back, I don’t think I ever had those dreams. I’m not even sure what I want to be nowadays. 

Sure, I like to write, but I don’t dream to be a writer. I know I’m not some talented writer, so publishing a book is more like something to complete on my bucket list. Writing is also more like therapy to me. In real life, I don’t have that much to say, despite the fact that I have tons of thoughts running through my head. Like my mother says, “I don’t even know what you’re thinking.”

Oh, and I’d rather that stuck that way. I don’t like people invading my thoughts. Mind rape? Yuck.
Right now, I guess what I want to know is what I can do with my skills. Ah yes, if you’re cruel, you’d pop that question, “What skills?” 

I would surely say, “Gee, thanks a lot. I totally appreciate your honesty.”

I do have to say though that I’m not even sure what skills I have. I’ve done too many personality tests that I know how to answer those questions to pick the result I want or think is the best. Not good!

I do have to also admit that sometimes I feel that those that are rewarded do not meet up to the rewards. They are either blessed with good luck or somehow get whatever they wish without doing much. 

Don’t get me started about people skills or what not. I have the worst luck with first impressions. People misinterpret my face in a matter of seconds. They start thinking I’m mean or unapproachable because I don’t give them the smile they want. Just because I don’t smile for you does not mean that I’m a scary person. Sigh. Unfortunately, I was never blessed with a gentle looking face. My stare has been defined as: “I’m going to rip you to pieces. Now get away from me, you imbecile.”

Now that’s another failure.

Then there are the other failures that are unexpected or because of some events that set me back. That’s when I start hating my life. I spend a day pretty much doing nothing except some things I like. I put off my homework. I purposely buy a drink to treat myself. I have a thing with trying out all the beverages there are in the world.

At the end of the day, I just pick myself up and move on. People say you’re supposed to learn from your failures. That’s true yet untrue. Sometimes, you can’t stop those things from making you fail, like group projects. You try your best to do your part, but your teammates give you grief in different ways whether it be skills that are not up to your standards or just downright laziness. Learn from your failures if you can. You’re not always at fault. 

You just have to learn to accept failure.

For me, that’s hard. That, I would say, would be my greatest weakness.
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